Insomnia.

     I don't know what is wrong with me, but I find myself waking up at 3 am in the morning and not being able to fall back asleep. So I get out of my bed after trying to get back into a forced sleep, and walk down the hallway to the living room. And what does any other insomniac do? They watch JEOPARDY. I find Jeopardy to be one of the best shows out there. I think this because I'm a nerd and I love learning new things. Don't judge me haters.
     But the nights I do not watch Jeopardy or any other TV show, I stay in my bed and think. Sometimes about random things or what I'll be doing the next day, or about things that have been plaguing my mind nonstop. Those thought's are probably the ones knocking on my brain and telling me to wake up.
     Recently the same thought that keeps waking me up is Hume Lake. For those of you who don't know what Hume Lake is, it's a christian camp located an hour or so outside of Fresno. . . Ahem, FresYES. Anyways, I got hired as their baker for the whole summer and I am so excited! I feel so blessed that I was the one given this job out of all of the people who had applied for it. So you're probably thinking, "Why is Hume Lake consuming her thoughts in the middle of the night?" And my answer to you is that I'm a worry-wart and over analyzer. I am putting all of this worry into my brain for no reason and asking myself questions like, "What if I don't fit in?", "What if I don't make any friends?", or "What if I don't enjoy myself?"And so in ALL of this worrying, I never factor in God. I always forget God's promise for us: He will provide for us if we just trust in him.
     What I need to do is stop complaining and worrying and thinking about ME ME ME and I need to start trusting. I get so self-consumed that I forget to just pray and put it all in God's hands. The fact that He will take my weight off and put it on his shoulders is so comforting. Remember Psalms 55:22 says, "Give your burdens to the Lord and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." 


That's it for now my friends, I hope this helps you guys out when you start freaking out! 


More to come, Austin



Hume Lake... isn't it pretty??

The future.

     Like everybody else, I am always thinking about the future. Who will I marry? What will be my career? Where will I live? Will I be successful? Will I still be friends with all the people that I am friends with now? Where am I going to school?... Yada yada yada. We are so concerned with our future that we don't even work in the present. I find myself doing this a lot and it wears me down. Of course it's not bad to plan out your future and know what you want, but worrying about it is another thing.
     Recently I have been thinking a lot about where I want to go to school. And just thinking about it gets me anxious. I've noticed that all I focus on is how fast it will take me to get there and what the name of the school is going to be. I'm in a rush and I care too much about the name of the school. I'm so caught up in what will make me look good rather than choosing a school that works best for me and my abilities. Why I am so focused on impressing people? I need to do what I want and not conform to what people want for me.
     Lastly, don't beat yourself up because you're not good at something. If you're not good at one thing then you're amazing at something else.
  

So my goal for myself and you guys reading: DO WHAT YOU WANT. It's your life, so don't let anybody tell you differently. If you want to go and major in something that actually interests you rather than in something that will make you a lot of money.... then do it. If you don't know what you want to do for your career yet, don't beat yourself up about it. All good things come to those who wait.
  

My hope.

Yes, I got one. After I hated on everyone FOR getting a blog, I got one. I figured that since my mind is moving at a mile a minute every moment of the day, some of those thoughts must be worth putting on the web. I don't expect to get a bunch of followers on my blog, but on the contrary, my hope for this blog is that someone will stumble across it and read one of my posts and say aloud, "Wow, I thought I was the ONLY person who thought that!" Then that one person will know that they are not alone in this crazy world we live in.

More to come tomorrow!