Greater Than Myself.

There comes a time in your life where you really have to examine who you are and where you're going. I am a little more neurotic than the average person, so I have this "check point" moment a lot. Every time I check in with myself, I'm usually fine with where I am at in life. But recently when I was having one of these moments, I wasn't fine with where I am at. I was at a Starbucks on my computer looking at the YWAM ( Youth with a Mission) site. I always look at this site because I would love to do a mission with them. You see, I look at this site, but I never believe that I'll actually be able to do a mission with them someday. I always tell myself that I have too much that I want to accomplish before I'm 25 and that doing a mission would just prevent me from getting what I want. And that whole statement made me freeze. The future I have planned for myself in the next 5 years is all about how I will succeed and go to a good school and focus on me, me, ME. God is in the picture, but he is kind of pushed to the side. There in my seat at Starbucks I imagined my future and I saw a self-consumed person, which is the opposite of what I want to be and what God wants me to be. In my whole plan, I never even gave God a chance to voice himself. So why can't I do something like YWAM? I'm the only person holding me back. That whole self evaluation has really made me realize that there is so much more to life than waiting for my big break to come. I need to break out myself, and be the person God fully intended me to be. I am sick of being complacent and feeling like I'm stuck.
I'm ready to change.
My prayer is for God to show me what he wants to do. I'm all ears.